Famous local cunt, H*gh Sc*tt, who once tried to “close the internet”, Greenock Morton FC and went on The Big Breakfast with his odious family is still a cunt as reported by several national newspapers.
There are unconfirmed reports that he does cuntish things like buying the most expensive bottle of red wine on the shelf at TESCO (without actually knowing if it will go with the meal he’s having later just to show off he can buy the most expensive bottle of red wine) and look like a connoisseur; refers to his local Chinese restaurant as “the chinky” and says that’s not racist because he’s “always said it and the slant eye at the counter doesn’t complain”; doesn’t trust taxi drivers if they have a darker skin tone than Ryan Giggs and haggles the fare at journey’s end because “you can’t trust them lot” and, most disgracefully of all, continues to look like a turtle heid poking out of a jakie’s arsehole.
Despite these (supposedly) unsubstantiated rumours we can confirm he is trying to close down a locally owned and well-loved part of Glasgow’s West End in order to make a few bob selling overpriced houses wankers. Specfically to the type of wanker who goes to the pub after work still wearing a suit and honestly believes lassies will find him more attractive if he buys “fancy foreign lagers” but eventually gives up and gets an escort in while complaining about girls being sluts and teases without realising they can’t be both at the same time.
Get the cunt telt.