After three weeks of training and constant speculation a small, but vocal crowd, of four hundred and thirty-three thousand four hundred and eighty-six followers of Nacho Novo were left disappointed when, despite his best efforts, he was unable from stopping the tide at the Firth of Clyde just down from Parklea.
“I really thought he would do it. He told he was the Messiah. He promised us he was the chosen one. I feel gutted.” Said Tam Plank, 87, who attended todays even with his son, Malcolm, 28 and grandson, Papa Shango, 18.
“I’m kinda embarrassed for him to be honest” wailed Papa Shango “I could see tears in his eyes and I think he sharted.”
Nacho, despite his previous claims of having the power of a trillion gods and the ability to make the elements dance to his approval, was undiluted in his grace.
“In this narrative, I was trying to demonstrate to my flattering courtiers that I has no control over the elements such as the tide. I am explaining that secular power is vain compared to the supreme power of God.”
No other claimants to the title of deity were available for comment but a spokesman for Jesus admitted it was the first he’d heard of it.