Sport Magazine

Inverclyde Independent Interview.

This week we speak to Manx cycling legend Laura Morgan about why the Yellow Hoose would make her cycle faster, how a Hollywood sign would be epic and her frank honesty about Dunoon.

So, Laura, why are we interviewing you today?

I cycle for the VCUK PH-Mas Women’s Team, part of a larger development team called Veloclubuk. I live on the Isle of Man and work in IT.

And what the fuck does that have to do with Inverclyde?

I lived there as a teenager.

Did you do much riding when you lived in Greenock?

No not at all.

That’s not what I heard.

I actually only got into cycling a few years ago. In my Greenock days, my only sporting achievements were around feebly trying to look cool on rollerblades down the waterfront. Good times!

From yer memories where would be the best places to go for a ride in Greenock?

Hmm as far as I can remember the areas around Greenock and Gourock always had some pretty great scenery. I’d say pootling down the coast to Largs sort of way would be a nice day out!

I think you’ll find the Word Up toilets are the best place for a ride now.

I’ll bear that in mind.

If you were cycling along the Esplanade, in the Tour de Inverclyde, and you saw a yellow house would that put a connection in your head to the yellow jersey and make you cycle harder?

Probably… either that or I’d spend the next half hour pondering over what other colours might work well on said house.

And if you saw a big “Hollywood” style sign on the Lyle Hill. Would that affect your concentration and see you heading up the hill there instead of going straight on towards Gourock? Could such a sight cost you seconds in a close race?

If I were racing…I probably wouldn’t take a detour for the sake of looking at pretty things….. I’d probably focus more having seen such an epic sight on my adventures! Although saying that, I’d wonder why the race didn’t go UP the hill in the first place. Everyone loves hills!

Fat people don’t. They’re like stairs to Daleks. How are you going to get more fat arses off couches in Greenock and more fat arses onto saddles?

Well, it’s down to the person. It’s easy to end up becoming totally sedentary – but when it starts to affect your health it can really make you feel depressed. I used to be really quite big and then I started cycling to save money on my commute – I lost 20kg within a year and saved a ton from riding to work. I think if you look at things that way, and realise that it’s easy to do then it’s a great way to become inspired to get up and go.

Cycling Scotland have loads of great incentives for folks who want to look at starting out by the way!

So your fat ass is now a svelte arse? Was this by design or side effect?

It was a side effect really! I always had booty. Now I’m just toned. And happy!

What could Inverclyde learn from the Isle of Man with regards to a space programme and tax avoidance?

Ahahah. Inverclyde used to have a really great base for technology, encouraging more entrepreneurs to start up there is a great way to boost technological developments and local economy.I really don’t know the ins and outs of how finance works here but we’re certainly not about avoidance! We have a very solid local economy and we do as were expected to when it comes to supporting the UK in return for theirs.

Due to us being in a devo max situation it means a lot of our revenue does go back into the overall British economy. We’re not 100% independent.

Do you think Dunoon’s shite?

Doesn’t everyone?

Angry Dunoon residents can abuse Laura on twitter once they learn about the internet @mooleur and you can follow her blog at

Her cycling team is available on twitter @teamvcukphmas and can be found at and

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