Politics News

Teenage bawbag unaware of internet

Teenage UKIP candidate Michael Burrows, aged 17 but still stuck in 1973, was shocked to find out today that his name and choice of political party and ridiculous political association with them will still be around when he’s 29 and looking for a proper job.

I remember my mate Rydo got a tattoo earlier in the year with the symbol for the band “Skrewdriver”. I said to him that was stupid because you might not even like “Skrewdriver” in ten years.“ but was totally ignorant of the idea that supporting a political party who’ve had senior members demand the privatisation of the NHS, forced repatriation of black people, reintroduction of the criminalisation of homosexuality and removing women’s rights might look a bit daft when prospective employers google his name.

I know UKIP haven’t actually produced a manifesto in 5 years or even promoted any official policies apart from leaving the EU and have all but denounced their 2010 manifesto and their senior members can’t agree on anything in public to the point that Nigel Farage refuses to confirm anything about UKIP policy” farted the plain-faced ginger cretin. “But that shows to me they are a party that’s willing to adapt and not, as most intelligent people conclude, a party that has no real policies of their own as they’re a single purpose party that gets all it’s funding from rich cunts who think the Tories are too left wing but know if people realise that no-one will vote for them.”

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