Famous Greenock resident “Cat Man” has had a change in luck and lifestyle when it was announced today he will be earning literally dozens of pounds in celebrity endorsements as he becomes the new face of Whiskas cat food.
“We all know cats like to eat rodents but we want people to realise they prefer to eat cat food” barked Whiskas spokesman Zig Zag Duopack “We offered Cat Man some Whiskas and he gobbled it up and gave the thumbs up. We videoed it and threw him the shrapnel from our pockets and got him to mark an X with his own faeces on the contract. Legally it’s watertight.”
The Inverclyde Indy hunted around Drumfrochar Road for Catman but he could not be found. Greenock’s other famous feline “Cappy the Cat” is said to be distressed at the news and offering the homeless man with severe mental health problems a “square go”