Greenock News Local Bampots

Inverclyde Independent editors argue about the collective noun for people from The Strone. Stronian? Stronish? Strogins? Stroge Ins?

Local single mother Aggie McSenga, fae The Strone, has got in touch with your only trustworthy local news source The Inverclyde Independent to demand action after River Clyde Homes refused to send in Rentokil for a mouse infestation, telling her – “Your boggin kitchen is the reason you have mice, ya clatty bastard”.

She said, yesterday:“A mean, how kin A help it if ma kitchen is a bit manky? Cleaning stuff is dear as fuck, it should be on prescription, so it should? A wid be able tae collect it when A get ma methadone. In the reason ma bins huvnae been emptied is that the lorry comes at half seven in the morning – who manages to get up at that time?”

We visited Aggie’s home to investigate this bureaucratic shambles yesterday. In the three minutes we were able to stay inside before the stench of mouldy lentil soup, dogshite and digestive biscuits made us retch we seen her problems. A pile of 5p Tesco bags with dirty nappies, Rustlers burger wrappers and some well smoked roaches inside them was nearly up to her ceiling and we spotted what appeared to be a deep fat fryer covered in brown jelly.

Aggie explained to us as we gagged in her overgrown garden: “Ye get used tae the smell efter a wee while, so it’s no ma fault, it’s the cooncil’s fault. Her from up the street doesnae always do her dishes and she’s not got mice. It’s definitely the hoose.“

What do our readers think – should Aggie get her kitchen cleaned by River Clyde Homes, Flash Wipes on prescription and her bins taken out by the binmen instead of her having to walk 10 feet to her wheeliebin?

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