News The Port Kilmacolm

Kilmacolm to build a wall and Port Glasgow will pay for it

By Johnny Beef Bullingdon, Border Control desk

The sleepy town of Kilmacolm has it all. Farms, a pub, some nice shops and very nice scenery. But what Kilmacolm is best known for is its border with Port Glasgow. Known for drugs, alcohol abuse, drugs and terrible working class people. Who take drugs.

That been said, Port Glasgow does have some values. Cheap Labour. Port workers flock to Kilmacolm to do the jobs posh people can’t be arsed with.

Despite the need for cheap Labour and tons of Charlie, Kilma has decided they are sick of looking at people from the Port.

Therefore, a wall will be erected and Port Glasgow is going to pay.

Kilma resident Claudette Toupee told the Indie “We didn’t think there was much of a problem at first. But we had a council meeting and a strange orange looking fellow explained that all of our problems are because of Port Glasgow. It makes perfect sense. We’re rich and they’re poor. So how could rich people have problems? Someone must be to blame. And it’s not me or any of my mates”

Port Glasgow had a town meeting too. And the following message, for Kilma was agreed. The email read as below.

“You’re right. We’ll pay. P.S the Charlie we sell you is just chopped up Eccies”

The wall is set to begin construction after all current council bosses are retired and therefore cannot be held accountable for things that didn’t happen.

Should the wall go ahead?

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