BEANZ MEANZ CRIMEZ!
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BEANZ MEANZ CRIMEZ!

By Dick Beavers, carnivore

Not content with making sure that you know at every opportunity that they LOVE ANIMALS MOAR THAN YOU, vegans everywhere are FEWMIN’ that corporate monsters HEINZ have elected to use a honey-based sweetener in their popular BEANZ range due to fears over government taxes on sugar, thus making their products non-vegan friendly.

Vegans, already ignored by most NORMAL people, are now attempting to hold placards over their heads outside WETHERSPOONS as they can no longer have a baked potato with beans while their friends grab some proper food.

If you see a vegan trying to keep their arms higher than their hearts today so that everyone can read their homemade, animal free, eco-friendly banner, our advice is to give them a good old tickle on the oxters.

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