Esplanade Swans
Greenock News

Esplanade swans ask “Can you all just fuck off”

Having just hatched four cygnets this week, Esplanade swans Tam and Agnes Swan have requested that the people of Inverclyde “just fuck off and leave us alone” after wave upon wave of gawping punters come to have a look at the new family.

“We picked the splash because we thought it would be relatively quiet, but the place is full of moon units getting right in our faces while we try to teach the wee ones the basics.”, Tam told the Indie.

“Normally we use Helensburgh and thought we’d try a new place this year, but it’s getting ridiculous. Have these people never been up the Murdie Dam?”

The unhappy couple are now looking at a new nesting site in Kilcreggan where they hope the locals are not so disconnected from nature that seeing a hatch of cygnets is a novelty.

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