Congratulations to Lorna McMum, 27 from Port Glasgow. She is to be entered into the Guinness Book of records for the most questions asked on Facebook.
Lorna, who has never heard of google says she would rather ask her Facebook friends than spend more than 3 seconds coming up with an original idea of her own.
We spoke to Lorna while she was asking facebook where she left the phone that was in her hand.
“I just don’t know anything. What colour are my pants? Not a clue. Are the weans doing fancy dress tomorrow in school? Fuck knows. Can you use a metal knife to remove bread from a toaster? How the fuck should I know.
“So I just ask Facebook. Someone will always reply. Usually they say go to the Oak Mall. Or ask if I’ve tried the Internet. But what they are failing to see is that it’s more of a conversation starter than a question. If I want to show off and tell the girls I’m going shopping, I’ll ask where I can get the most expensive brand of shoes in Glasgow. That way, they all know and can be sort of jealous.
“But most of the time it’s because I just don’t have a fucking clue. How do you tie your shoes? Nobody knows the answer to that. I challenge you to explain it in writing to me. These questions need asked and I’m going to bloody ask them.”
Lorna will also getting a second entry into the GBR for most the specific request ever asked, “Does anybody know where I can buy a silver handled three inch door with wooden effect for a pretend mouse hole needs to be 1cm thick and have black hinges and a picture of an elephant on it.”
She’s tried the new mouse house super store in the Oak Mall. No luck.
Well done anyway, Lorna.
Does anybody know if it’s to be rainy tomorrow. There’s just no bloody way of telling.