Local single mother Aggie McSenga, fae The Strone, has got in touch with your only trustworthy local news source The Inverclyde Independent to demand action after River Clyde Homes refused to send in Rentokil for a mouse infestation, telling her – “Your boggin kitchen is the reason you have mice, ya clatty bastard”. She said, […]
Famous Greenock resident “Cat Man” has had a change in luck and lifestyle when it was announced today he will be earning literally dozens of pounds in celebrity endorsements as he becomes the new face of Whiskas cat food. “We all know cats like to eat rodents but we want people to realise they prefer […]
In news scarily reminiscent of the Hugh Scott era Greenock Morton have banned Greenock’s ONLY reliable source of football news from their facebook page. We asked a senior staff member at Cappielow, who recently cost the club thousands of pounds by not being able to check the fucking rules about players playing for three clubs […]
In a boost to the Larkfield Tourist Board they have scooped a twinning agreement with Alipašino polje-A Faza in Sarajevo which could double the amount of yearly visitors to the Greenock council estate. Up to 4 people a year could make the journey to see such sites as “The Magic Roundabout”, “Angus Road Post Office” […]
After changing the colour of our profile pic it somehow managed to get two likes despite only being seen by one person. Amazing! Please follow and like us:
To show our support for the Yellow Hoose owners, and all house owners who don’t follow planning permission guidelines and think they’re better than other people, we will be going yellow this week and have also teamed up with McGill’s buses (because fuck going up against them. We don’t have the insurance for that) to […]
Little did little “Little” Steve Richards know but when he picked up a crayon to colour in his picture at nursery his day would end with a black eye delivered by the “ring hand” of local councillor Innes Nelson. After a visit to a local nursery the hyperactive little shit asked the councillor repeatedly if […]
Bosses at Inverclyde’s biggest money pit have come under fire for what can only be described as a massive error of judgement after they banded together to place a £1 million wager on a football match. The dunderheaded managers thought they had a sure fire winner when they placed the bet on Manchester City to […]
10 months ago Steven Farcage Jnr shot his load up a lassie and in the 5 weeks since the birth of his child, Steven Farcage Jnr Jnr, he has developed an outstanding ability to be an expert on all matters. “The first thing was when the missus was talking about nappies. I’d never changed a […]
Greenock’s Oak Mall has been voted top shopping destination by the readers of Greeting Cards Monthly. A recent poll voted Inverclyde’s second-top indoor shopping centre (second only to the Stewart Centre) as Britain’s best place to buy greetings cards, with literally dozens of choices within a 300m radius which cater to all sorts of occasions, […]
