Greenock News Local Bampots

Greenock Man Becomes Father. Makes him instant expert on everything.

10 months ago Steven Farcage Jnr shot his load up a lassie and in the 5 weeks since the birth of his child, Steven Farcage Jnr Jnr, he has developed an outstanding ability to be an expert on all matters. “The first thing was when the missus was talking about nappies. I’d never changed a […]

Greenock News

Oak Mall voted Top Shopping Destination by readers of “Greeting Cards Monthly” Magazine

Greenock’s Oak Mall has been voted top shopping destination by the readers of Greeting Cards Monthly. A recent poll voted Inverclyde’s second-top indoor shopping centre (second only to the Stewart Centre) as Britain’s best place to buy greetings cards, with literally dozens of choices within a 300m radius which cater to all sorts of occasions, […]

Greenock News

Larkfield Citizen Complains About Council. Proves She Doesn’t Understand Democracy

Missy Elliott, 33½, spoke today to the Inverclyde Independent to complain about the council. “They spend all the money on an arts centre and I don’t even like art or centres” she chided. When the possibility was raised that other people may enjoy live theatre and the council can’t think only about her she replied: […]

Greenock News

City of Liverpool Backs Yellow Hoose Home Owners

The people who never bothered checking the rules about painting their house have got support from the city most famous for not paying attention to the law either today when an angry mob of a few dozen scousers stormed their Town Hall and demanded the Labour-led council start sanctions against Inverclyde Council. The group “Scousers: […]