Greenock News

Larkfield Citizen Complains About Council. Proves She Doesn’t Understand Democracy

Missy Elliott, 33½, spoke today to the Inverclyde Independent to complain about the council. “They spend all the money on an arts centre and I don’t even like art or centres” she chided. When the possibility was raised that other people may enjoy live theatre and the council can’t think only about her she replied: […]


Council Hit Back in Yellow Hoose Row

The council have upped their game against the Yellow Hoose owners by doing a huge graffiti of a dobber on the front facing wall of the home. Inverclyde Independent sources claim that Cllr’s Steven McCabe and Chris McEleny donned dark camouflage gear and scaled the building at around 0300hrs last night. Using a rope and […]

Greenock News

City of Liverpool Backs Yellow Hoose Home Owners

The people who never bothered checking the rules about painting their house have got support from the city most famous for not paying attention to the law either today when an angry mob of a few dozen scousers stormed their Town Hall and demanded the Labour-led council start sanctions against Inverclyde Council. The group “Scousers: […]

News The Port Local Bampots

Port Grandmother raging at Facebook fuck up

Amanda Le Maistre, from just up frae the Clune Brae roundabout, has demanded action from Greenock MP Iain McKenzie after she completed a “Which Lord of the Rings Character Are You?” Quiz on Buzzfeed via Facebook and was told she was Gandalf. “I like Gandalf but the picture was that gay fella who only played him in […]

News Gourock ScotRail

Confusion as man of indiscriminate racial origin seen getting on train

There was shock and confusion today on the Wemyss Bay line when a man got on the train at Whinhill and alighted from Branchton. One spokesman for First ScotRail said “Have you ever heard the word alighted away from a train station? Can you alight from a bus? I’m away to get a dictionary” Shocked commuter Inigo […]