News Local Bampots ScotRail

Local Philosopher Blows Minds

Local philosopher, Parlsey Boneslush, has came up with a new philosophical theory that has caused ripples across the lush still pond of theological and secular debate. “Ripples!?” Bellowed The Archbishop of Canterbury “This is a tidal wave. All the major philosophical and ecumenical questions have been flipped. Black is now white. Dogs are now cats. Up […]

News Gourock ScotRail

Confusion as man of indiscriminate racial origin seen getting on train

There was shock and confusion today on the Wemyss Bay line when a man got on the train at Whinhill and alighted from Branchton. One spokesman for First ScotRail said “Have you ever heard the word alighted away from a train station? Can you alight from a bus? I’m away to get a dictionary” Shocked commuter Inigo […]