News The Port

Port Glasgow Mum breaks World Record for Facebook questions

Congratulations to Lorna McMum, 27 from Port Glasgow. She is to be entered into the Guinness Book of records for the most questions asked on Facebook. Lorna, who has never heard of google says she would rather ask her Facebook friends than spend more than 3 seconds coming up with an original idea of her […]

A Grandmother from Port Glasgow has joined the mafia. 
News The Port Local Bampots

Port Granny joins The Mafia

By Johnny Beef Bullingdon, this fuckin’ guy! “HAVE ANOTHER BISCUIT OR I’LL BLOW YOUR MOTHER FUCKING HEAD OFF” A Grandmother from Port Glasgow has joined the mafia.  The Indie learns that Betty ‘MoMo’ Morrison, 76, from Upper Port Glasgow, took up with the Cosa Nostra syndicate earlier this year and has been conducting criminal activity […]

News The Port Kilmacolm

Kilmacolm to build a wall and Port Glasgow will pay for it

By Johnny Beef Bullingdon, Border Control desk The sleepy town of Kilmacolm has it all. Farms, a pub, some nice shops and very nice scenery. But what Kilmacolm is best known for is its border with Port Glasgow. Known for drugs, alcohol abuse, drugs and terrible working class people. Who take drugs. That been said, […]

News The Port

A mermaid has washed up on the River Clyde and has sent residents of Port Glasgow into a maritime frenzy!

Naida, thought to be from the mythical underwater kingdom of Atlantis, was discovered beached by locals in the Tesco car park, as cheeky youngsters spat at her and pelted her with coins. One of the teens Aidan McNish, 14, of Oronsay Avenue said: “We were goin doon the clyde tae start a fire when ma […]

News The Port Local Bampots

Port Grandmother raging at Facebook fuck up

Amanda Le Maistre, from just up frae the Clune Brae roundabout, has demanded action from Greenock MP Iain McKenzie after she completed a “Which Lord of the Rings Character Are You?” Quiz on Buzzfeed via Facebook and was told she was Gandalf. “I like Gandalf but the picture was that gay fella who only played him in […]